[A visitor says that he has done therapy, meditations, tantra yoga: I feel now that I’m at a point where I can sense a bit of the life force within me and at the same time I don’t know how to go on.]

I understand. Much more is waiting to happen for you. This problem arises only when for the first time you start feeling a glimpse, a sense, that something is possible, that you are not going to waste your life. When you come in contact for the first time with the cosmic energy, howsoever small, this problem arises – of what to do and how to grow more and how not to waste energy and effort. how to put the energy into one direction. One should be happy that the problem has arisen, because there are two types of problems. One type of problem is pathological. Somebody has anxieties and cannot sleep, or somebody is so tense that he’s feeling split, or somebody is obsessed with some idea and cannot get rid of it. These are pathological problems. All problems are not pathological. There are growth problems also, which are very healthy. 

This is a growth problem, and one should be really happy that one has a growth problem, not a pathological problem. Because even if the pathological problem is solved, you become more comfortable, that’s all, but nothing is gained. You sleep better, you are less tense, you become more efficient in your worldly affairs, in your business, in your work, in your job, but nothing is solved.

When a pathological problem is solved you function more normally, that’s all. But that is not the goal; just to be normal is pointless. Unless something of the beyond happens to you, unless there is a breakthrough, unless you can see the significance of being here, unless you can perceive your place in this cosmos – why you are, who you are, and for what function you exist, what your destiny is – unless you have that perspective, you simply vegetate.

A few people vegetate efficiently, a few people non-efficiently, a few people comfortably, a few people uncomfortably, but in the end it is all the same. Whether you had beautiful dreams in the night or nightmares makes not much difference when in the morning you find that it was all dream. This is a growth problem, and now you will have to commit yourself to some path. Up to now, you have been dabbling in this and that. Good – in the beginning it is very good; one has to grope – but now don’t continue that. Now choose a path. At least for three years be committed to a path so totally that whatsoever can happen on that path, happens. If nothing happens on that path after three years, move, choose some other path. But at this moment a deep involvement will be needed, otherwise you will wither away. Don’t do many things any more. In the beginning it is good. One goes shopping and looks in this shop and that, and is attracted by this window display and that, one looks at many things, but then finally one decides; then one chooses If you choose, immediately many things will start happening. And I am not saying choose this or that, but choose. It is a risk because one chooses in deep ignorance, and there is no other way to choose. Maybe it is right, maybe it is not right. It remains ’perhaps’. That’s the risk, but one has to still choose. Choose some path and be devoted to it totally – because energy should not be dissipated. As I see, you have been doing many things, so you have gone to the south a little, to the north a little, to the east, to the west, and you have been going in all the directions together. It is good in the beginning – one has to feel – but now choose. If you want to grow, then you can grow only on one path. And all paths are true. When I say choose, I don’t mean that others are wrong. All paths are true. In fact, every path ultimately leads to god because ultimately only he is. Even people who go astray cannot go astray. Even going astray leads them to god one day – because where can you go astray? There is nowhere where god is not. So even a sinner is on the path of being a saint; there is no other way. He may delay. So I don’t call a sinner a sinner, I call him a delayed saint. Delaying, postponing, running hither and thither, but how long can you do that? One day one decides.

So be decisive. If you feel that you have a certain love for me, then I am ready. You can come along with me. But if you feel that somewhere else you have a deeper involvement and a possibility of a deeper involvement, then go there, but be committed. And put aside all wanderings now. A man needs to be a wanderer, but one day one stops wandering and follows a certain path. Then direction arises and things start falling into line. Then all your effort moves in one direction, gives you an integration. So you have groped in all directions long enough. And the problem with you is that if you don’t choose and you don’t get committed, this may become your habit – this dabbling. Then there are a thousand and one paths one can go on. That becomes a sort of befooling oneself. One is always engaged with one guru, then another guru, with one school and then another school, then another school, with one technique and then another technique. By and by, one becomes addicted. So one is nowhere with anybody but one goes on changing paths, techniques, and by and by this can become a habit – that you cannot stay with anything for long. Then growth is impossible.  So it is a growth problem – good in itself, but you will have to do something. So feel, be here, meditate, do a few groups. And if you feel that there is a certain affinity between your heart and mine, then be committed, become a sannyasin ... Think about it. The problem for you to solve is whether to be committed and become a sannyasin,or not. So think about it. I will do almost ninety percent. Ten percent you think, mm? Good! Deva means divine and salila means a river, a divine river. And that you have to remember. You are holding your energy. You are not allowing it to stream, to flow. It is as if a river has been prevented, blocked, and a dam has been created. The energy is there, throbbing, vibrating, and wants to explode, but you are holding it. Unless you release it, you will feel many troubles. Once you release it, you will be free of many troubles. Once you release it, it will take all garbage away from you. So that’s why I give you the name deva salila. You have to remember that you have to become a river – flowing, always flow-ing. Unless you come to dissolve into an ocean, don’t stop: No other place is your goal. Go on farther and farther. One has to reach to the ocean where all boundaries dissolve. But you are holding it hard, and if you hold you create conflict. You create a contradiction in your being.

The energy wants to go out and you want to pull it in. In this conflict, anxiety arises. And if this conflict continues for long, you create blocks. Then to hold becomes an unconscious habit. The energy is ready and there is not much of a problem. If you don’t try to hold it, it will start flowing. I don’t see any other block except that you are holding it. So do some groups and don’t hold at all...just be completely flowing. Don’t be miserly about it. Many people are so miserly about energy that it is unbelievable why they are so miserly. From the very beginning every child is taught to be miserly. The mathematics of life is that the more you spend your energy, the more energy you get. The less you spend. you less you get, because there is no need. If you don’t spend at all. you don’t get at all. Then the old energy remains like a stagnant dead thing, and it becomes by and by poisonous. Energy has to be fresh, continuously fresh. I can see it... every pore of your body needs flow. So in these five weeks that you will be here, dance, sing, relate with people, meet, have contacts, love. In these five weeks completely forget your old habit of holding. Here, things are allowed. Even if you are standing and trembling, nobody is going to say that you are mad or something, gone crazy. There are greater crazy people here than you, so you need not be worried!

Osho, Dance Your Way To God